I lived under this for many years, and was happy doing it, but there was always a nagging thought that I should not just take things on faith and I should question things that concern me especially when it came to personal interpretation of the scripture.

I had been heavily involved in our church and was very well respected, but as soon as I began to question things, I was immediately condemned for it.

This disturbed me greatly, but I ceased my questioning, but did not feel right in my spirit in how I had been treated.

After almost losing my marriage over the issue, our family finally left that particular church and have never looked back.

I hated that I had to leave my friends that I had grown up with, but I do not regret the decision, things are so much clearer now that I am out from under that oppression. I am heavily involved at my new church and while they still have “standards” and holiness ideals, discussion is always welcome.

That is how it should be.

God gave us a brain for a reason, it was not to blindly follow without questioning. If you don’t question or study, how do you know if you are being led astray?

I’m so confused about the balance between submission to authority, seeking Godly counsel (and preaching/teaching), and the individual’s responsibility to seek out the truth in the word for him/herself. It seems to me that the more I seek for myself the more my opinions ad beliefs are in opposition to what is being preached and it makes my heart hurt…

“I don’t think the UPC has a clear distinction between justification and sanctification”

I totally agree with you on this one… I’m not even sure I know the difference!

It’s like, there’s the Big Obvious Sins… and then there’s all the lifestyle stuff that good christians should do, or your disobeying (which is sin…) so basically any lifestyle guideline your pastor teaches that you don’t do could potentially cost you your salvation (unless you are continually repenting under your breath 24/7…). Try really hard to live right, repent really hard when you mess up, cross your fingers… and you’ll be saved.

Grace is just an afterthought.

Jesus said:

“For God did not send the Son into the world to judge the world, but that the world might be saved through Him. He who believes in Him is not judged; he who does not believe has been judged already, because he has not believed in the name of the only begotten Son of God. This is the judgment, that the Light has come into the world, and men loved the darkness rather than the Light, for their deeds were evil.” Joh 3:17-19 NASB

In other words, Jesus came to save, not to judge. That does not mean that Jesus will never judge, of course. It means that His primary mission was not to walk around telling people they were sinners. When people are exposed to the light of Christ they know they are sinners. His primary mission was to save them from their sin, not to ridicule them for it.

But there was one group of people who Jesus constantly condemned, and that was the Pharisees. The reason? Because they created man-made rules that no one could possibly follow (Mat. 23:1-4)!

I encourage everyone who is in, or ever was in, a holiness church to read Matthew 23. If a person wants to follow a system of man-made rules, or if they feel convicted to follow a certain dress code, then that is between them and God. I certainly will not ask them to change! But they need to carefully read Matthew 23 and remember how Jesus feels about those who create those rules and then sit around judging everyone else. Don’t be a 21st century pharisee :)